Done

It's been over a month already. Done with high school; I am officially a graduate. That feeling is just so awesome. It really is.

It's also been a long time since the whole boy and best friend thing. My last blog post was about that; it's done with and gone now. Onto the next chapter in life. New start, new project.

It's about time I've done something fun, something for myself only. I got an amazing grad and 18th birthday present from my family, a gorgeous Nikon d5100. Now that is my baby. Thing is, where should I take photos? What should I take them of? I've had an online portfolio of some of my works for some time, but other than that, all I have is junk on my desktop that I have yet to clean up. Trust me, it's a mess.



But before that, there's something I really must get off my chest. I feel sad about it, but I'm sure others have gone through this before. I turned 18 last month...and I expected to have a party. Thing is, none of my close friends were available nor did my parents have time for me. So I planned one for this month...but once again, no one was available. Now, I've basically let the idea of having a big 18 birthday bash, but it still stings. I see all these pictures of other 18 birthday cotillions, celebrations, and all I did on my 18th birthday was...sit on the couch with my laptop and learning the words to Despicable Me's Minions' song Bababa Potato na a a a~. (I had tons of fun with it though).

Once again, it's gone, it's past, there's nothing I can do about it. I'm just going to have a fun rest of the summer and that will be all. Sticking with family for the most part; friends are kinda off. Different time schedules, they're busy, I'm busy, it's hard. But hey, college is coming..

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They said that high school friends, for the most part, don't last all the way to college and beyond. You grow apart, you gain new friends. Some of your best friends in high school would not be the same close people you've spent the last four years with. In fact, you may never talk to them again outside of high school. I never believed it; I believed that we would always stick close and never lose each other. My former best friend, now just a friend...if that, even, we kinda fell apart. We don't really have that connection anymore...and in a way, I am grateful...but I also miss it. My best friends are someone I can always count on...and she wasn't one. I am really happy for the years we spent together, for all the memories we made, but I feel like I don't know who she is anymore. It's like she's a thorn that I want to pull out...but if I do, then we aren't connected anymore. She has who she needs and I'm happy for her. But what about us? Where do we stand now? Are we even friends anymore? And I'm not talking about the flimsy, "Of course we are!". I'm talking about the real thing, the hard truth underneath. Are we or are we not friends anymore? Why haven't we been talking all summer? Why haven't we seen each other all summer? Why haven't we even contacted each other all summer?

I miss you. I really do. I just want everything to go back to the way it was. Outside of high school, that is. Or maybe it really is time for all of us to grow up. Go our separate ways. If we were meant to be together, then we will. It's best not to force it. As much as I want to, it won't be the same. Nothing ever stays the same. It's only life. It's done. There's nothing else we can do.