we fall, we get up, it goes on....

We are weak. We are strong. We fall, we get up. We get down, we get happy. In the end, life still goes on.

It still hurts sometimes. To be honest, it hurts a lot still. Sometimes, I just get so tired, so exhausted from fighting. Worn out from trying to be strong, from pretending, from acting like everything is okay.

Moving On

Friends. Boys. Friends. Boys. Friends. Boy. Friend. Boy. Boy. Friend.

I woke up this morning, having Sara Evans' song, A Little Bit Stronger, playing through my head.
"Woke up late today, and I still feel the sting of the pain..."

But I knew I was moving on over him. Broken hearts, broken friendship, just plain broken in general.
I loved you. I really did. I still do. Whatever happens, you will always have a special place in my heart. But now we have established a middle ground; we are going to be the best of friends. It hurts still, knowing you are gone, that you don't love me anymore...but it is all going to be okay.

I love you, good bye.

Opening up to someone is depending on someone else, letting them into your life, allowing them to know your secrets. Since a child, I have always been taught to be independent, that I don't need to depend on anyone else but myself. That was how I always functioned; I dealt with problems by myself and I was secure. I was protected.

Until I met you...you taught me how to love.

You got me to open my heart, let my walls down. I let you in. I showed you my world, my insecurities, my fears. You were my everything. I could tell you anything and everything I wanted because I know you would always be there for me.