On Border of Insanity

Like really. I mean, I had a great time and everything, but where do I stand now? What comes next? What should I do? I had so much fun. I thoroughly enjoyed myself and I'm glad I decided to go. Sure, there were awkward parts, but I definitely loved it.

Problem now, what's next? I'm waiting patiently...well not really. But as patiently as I can get. If I seriously have to wait any longer, I would jump off the roof. Probably not. But I'm seriously considering it.

*face palm* This sucks. I've never been really patient. Maybe this is when I start growing up. Start maturely and learning to wait.

Wait, let's back track. I'm deciding...nope. I don't want to grow up yet, so people can suck it. I'm going to be who I want to be. Do what I want to do. And most importantly, with WHOM I want to do it with. So there.

Screw it. I'm doing things my way. And there's not stopping me. HOLLAAA~

Transformation

Continuing with my drastic changes...not really. Lol. :D

It's a new Lunar year and to me, this may be the biggest change yet. I've chopped my hair short. Like from down my back to above my shoulders. Yeah, shortest I've ever done. But I love it. It gets annoying at times, but I feel wonderful. SO much lighter and easier to handle.

Junior Year Second Semester. High school's almost over for me. Look at me, I'm only 3/4 done, and I'm already talking like it's the end. Maybe it is, because May is the supposed end of the world. Before it was December 21, 2012, now it's May something 2011. Sucks, doesn't it? I spent my whole life in school.

I really got started on thinking about my future. Sure, I still have times where I just daddle and not do anything really. But I'm starting internships, programs, volunteers, and really just pointing me in a general direction for where my life will head when I leave the sheltered roof of school and into a world where I have to fend for myself. I never really knew where I was going; I always kind of just went with what came my way. I did things on impulse. Even now, I still don't know what specifically. Maybe it's the same for everyone. Maybe not. It sucks not having someone to lead you, but independence is the key to surviving the "jungle" out there. Life is cruel. :(

But next on my transformation: contacts. So close, yet so far! Can't wait. :D

Screw you history. You and your facts and information.

Sometimes, I'd really like to crack a bottle over life's head for being such a pain in the butt. Yeah. But really, the problem is truly within yourself. Aw, great. Now I get to sound wishy-washy and become a philosopher. There goes my career as a professional stalker. :(

I just wish I didn't have to do all this. It's break, and for once I don't have any homework. Except for the fact that I'm not doing so well in my history class and need to study for the test when we come back from break. :'( If only break was like, i dunno, forever. :)

I mean, school's fun, but really? I've spent a century in school already. I've lived in three decades, two centuries, and two millenia.../and I'm not even twenty yet! And truth be told, I've spent a major portion of that time in school. So if the world does end in 2012, which would suck coz I really would've spent a whole life in school, I'm not going to sit back and let life hit me back. I'm gonna sucker punch it and do what I want. Oh yeah, there's my declaration of independence. Take that, Washington.

Truthfully, I have nothing against Washington. Or any of the presidents...well maybe some of them. But I don't want to learn history just so "we don't make the same mistakes our ancestors did". Bull****.
In the history book (which is right in front of me), I've already read about duplicate wars, compromises, and other things THAT HAS HAPPENED MORE THAN ONCE. And I'm not even to the 1900s yet! So if THEY can make the same "mistakes" why do we have to work so hard to "TRY NOT TO MAKE THEM AGAIN?" Really, it's all just bull.

So now my fellow history friends, I, whois dying in some way or the other over history, will like to fight back and "kill it with my awesome". Take that history. And your facts. And nuggets. AND STAY IN THE GRAVE BECAUSE THAT IS WHERE YOU ARE.

...

Some times...Things CAN change a life...drastically

Don't be alarmed. After all, this IS just a thought. A piece of deepness that has been stored inside me for some while. Something that can just EXPLODE...and impale a lot of people.
You know, like a GRENADE. And yes, if you know what I'm talking about, say aye. Grenade by Bruno Mars. Gotta love that song.
Back to the task at hand.

Lately I've read a few books that may have changed my life, if not a lot but a little. The most recent one is Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher. And Ellie, I'm dedicating this to you, my best friend ever.

Usually, I don't read much deep books that require much thought or attention. I'm a fantasy/fiction, sci-fi, thrillers, suspense, mystery, etc. type. But sometimes, a life changing novel here and there is enough to keep me happy.

Thirteen Reasons Why. I don't really have to explain. After all, I don't have thirteen reasons why I read it. I just have one: My friend recommended it to me. There I read it. And guess what? I love it.

After hold still by Nina Lacour (which I REALLY recommend), I was interested in seeing what TRW would do to me. hold still made me think. A lot. And seriously. TRW made me wonder. Curious. And confusion.

I refuse to let you know why. But read it for yourself, and discover, (maybe), the meaning of life.

What is a good friend?

1. A good friend is honest.

A good friend may not share every detail of every second of their life, but they do try to be clear about their intentions. This means that they try to present an accurate picture of who they are and of different situations. When something doesn't seem right, they let you know.

2. A good friend is fun, unique and interesting.

OK, this is a given, and probably the reason you became friends in the first place. But there's a lot to be said for chemistry and shared interests.

As for fun, it depends how you define it: Some friends are fun because they're the life of the party, others are fun because they notice every strange little detail about a situation. Some people are fun simply because they see life like no one else does.

3. A good friend is attentive and adaptable.

A good friend is at least a fairly good listener and notices how little, day-to-day things affect you. They can't read your mind, but chances are they can usually tell when you're happy, sad, excited, shocked or upset. If they're aware that they're doing something that annoys you, they try to change their ways or at least talk to you about it.

4. A good friend is supportive of you and your goals.

Sure, your friend may think you're cool, but are they on the same page as you? Do they know what you want most out of life? A really good friend will know what makes you tick and help you become the person you want to be. They won't try to change who you are or drag you into situations that make you uncomfortable or put you at risk of losing something that matters to you.

5. A good friend is a friend you can trust.

A true friend won't try to steal your girlfriend or boyfriend, your job or your personality. They won't gossip about you constantly or try to damage your reputation. They will let you know when they're concerned and do their best to stick up for you when you're in trouble.

6. A good friend makes it clear that they care about you.

Different people may have different ways of letting you know that they care about you. One person may give you a big hug whereas another person might gently tease you. A big clue that someone cares is that they talk to you fairly often and, in general, know what's going on in your life and act interested about it.

7. A good friend sticks with you in good times and bad.

Loyalty is a quality almost everyone lists when asked what they look for in a friend. A loyal friend will stick with you when your new play is a flop, when you bomb the SATs or when your parents get divorced. If you move or switch schools, they'll do their best to stay in touch with you.

8. A good friend accepts you for who you are, even when you're being a butthead.

In friendship, being accepting goes hand in hand with being loyal. A true friend rolls with the punches as you grow and change and know how to deal with your quirks and faults.

They are also patient with you when you make mistakes -- even big ones -- and learn how to forgive you when you hurt them. In other words, they treat you as you'd like to be treated, even when you aren't at your best.

----

And I would like to add two more:

9. Whenever you need someone to "toss" into a lake or "whack" on the head, a good friend is willing to stand there and let you have a go at them.

10. "A good friend would rob a store with you. A great friend would sit in jail next to you." :D That is a great quote.

Number 10 is: A good friend would approve of your crazy, borderline insane ideas or your obnoxiously spontaneous moments and do them with you.

;) Good friends are good to have. Great friends are even better. ;)

First day of THANKSGIVING BREAK!!!

A laugh for those who have school today. And tomorrow. And Wednesday. Haha. :D Just playing. While you guys who have school today have to go to school, just sit back and think of February, where there will be a Presidents' Week for you and only a four day weekend. See, sometimes life IS fair.
So, this week, it's going to be intense. I have SO much to do...yet I'm just blogging right now. Lol what a joke. ;) But I DO need time to relax; there's only so much you can do at one time.
It's been quite a while since I last did this, but I hope I shall continue.
Went to CCVH today, submitted my application. Interview tomorrow. Wish me luck!
Convinced my mother to buy me the most ADORABLE travel mug ever.
Isn't it SO cute? I LOVE it. I've been wanting it FOREVER. And now that it's at a special holiday price, my mother finally allowed it. :D Anyway, Christmas is almost here. Can't believe it's going to be another year. *sigh* Life goes by...but I'm not exactly having the most fun right now. Well, now I am, since it's break, but when school comes by and kicks me in the butt, it won't be.
Nanowrimo. I'm behind. I am working hard...but seriously, I'm getting SO distracted. I decided to go to the library today after submitting my app and without tell the passengers in the car, I drove to the library. Needless to say, they were quite unhappy about it (especially my sister, since she wanted to go home), but since I'm the driver, they can't do anything about it unless they wanted to walk home. It's close enough, but still far. So, they stuck.
I raided the library since it would be closed for the next few days due to Thanksgiving, but I'm hoping they would give me enough inspiration to finish Dreamer, my first novel. And then homework...which I do not want to do right now. Just finished some busywork so I'm going to finish the episode I'm on and before I start the next one, I'll finish some homework first. Peace.

Love Love Love

大家都有這個事情發生在他們的身上。
那個偷偷看和不停的笑。
我真糟了。
非常糟透了。
我想上學因為可以看得他。
我問他很笨的問題，只想跟他聊天。
他不在的時候我就很想他。
唉喲，我真的死盯了。
我不知道爲甚麽。
應該是有時候你真的不知道爲甚麽。
是很自養的事。
沒有理由的。
如過有理由的時候，那算不算是愛呢？
我也不知道。
我沒有談戀愛過。
可是你知道嗎？
真是讓人很開心得。
可是也可以讓人很難過。
唉，沒辦法囖。
讓自養來吧。